


Psycho

by Anonymous



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Poor Soobin, Porn With Plot, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:28:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22319389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: They're in such strange relationship, he breaks him, he builts him, he hurts him, and he protects him.They're gonna be just fine, aren't they?
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 5
Kudos: 41
Collections: Fanfic Anonymous





	Psycho

Yeonjun glances at Soobin, at the way his fingers press together on his leg, one layer over the other.

“Do you trust me?” he asks, leaning in to brush his cheek against Soobin’s.

“O-of course,” Soobin says, and touches his hair. His hand is soft, tentative, and when Yeonjun withdraws, he looks so lost.

“I want to do something with you,” Yeonjun says, and his heart beats faster as Soobin’s eyes widen. He understands - he sees what Yeonjun means, in the spaces between words. They’ve been dancing around this for a while now, and Yeonjun is growing impatient.

“Me too,” Soobin breathes, and his eyelashes come down low, obscuring his beautiful brown eyes. “Yeonjun hyung…”

“I know,” Yeonjun says, and kisses him. Soobin’s mouth parts in surprise. Yeonjun slips his tongue inside. Soobin makes a soft little noise, hands going to Yeonjun’s shoulders. His fingers are so delicate, like butterflies, and Yeonjun wants them to get harder, more confident. He wants Soobin to grab him until he’s not sure if he’s trying to draw him closer - or push him away.

They are sitting together on Yeonjun’s bed. Yeonjun presses forward, with just a finger on Soobin’s waist, and Soobin goes back, his head hitting the pillows with a soft little breath. Yeonjun crawls over him, fingers touching his face, and his other hand reaches toward the nightstand, slides the drawer open, and withdraws the first item.

Soobin hears the drawer open, and tries to glance toward it, but Yeonjun captures his mouth in a kiss and he closes his eyes and surrenders to it. His fingers are a little harder on Yeonjun’s shoulders.

Yeonjun draws back, and looks at Soobin, as he is now. Soft, gentle… and completely his, even if he doesn’t know yet.

“Open your mouth,” he says, and Soobin does, not opening his eyes.

Yeonjun puts the fabric into Soobin’s mouth and pulls his head up to tie it behind him. Soobin’s eyes fly open, and he squirms, shaking his head. He makes a sound that might be Yeonjun’s name, and it shoots down Yeonjun’s body and goes straight to his groin.

He sounds so small, so contained… so helpless. And Yeonjun will help him. Yeonjun’s the only person who has ever helped Soobin.

He ties the fabric behind Soobin’s head and lets it fall to the pillows.

Soobin stares up at him, his mouth stretched around the fabric, hands growing tighter on Yeonjun’s shirt. His eyes are wide, blacker than normal, as if his pupils have grown to twice their usual size.

“You’re going to enjoy this,” Yeonjun murmurs, and kisses Soobin’s cheek.

Then he reaches down and starts at Soobin’s pants. He’s trembling - probably just excited. This is the first time they’ve gotten so far, the first time to see each other’s bodies naked - the first time Yeonjun can claim him the way he’s fantasized for months. Soobin’s hands trail down his arms, touching his forearms as he tugs at Soobin’s fly. His trembling increases as Yeonjun pulls his pants away, and then his underwear. Soobin’s thighs look silky and smooth, plush and meaty, can he even grow leg hairs? Yeonjun runs his hands along that velvet skin Soobin bucks a bit, and lets out a soft groan.

Yeonjun is going to mark that pale, perfect flesh, and there’s nothing Soobin will do about it. “You’re beautiful,” he breathes, and thinks of all the things he’s planned.

Soobin whimpers, and closes his eyes.

Yeonjun takes that as acceptance to go ahead, and reaches into the drawer for a neatly-coiled rope. He undoes it, leaning over Soobin to kiss him. Soobin’s hands are down by his sides, not touching Yeonjun anymore, and Yeonjun takes one of them and puts it to his own face. He wants Soobin to want this, to touch him, and he kisses Soobin, right over the fabric. Soobin groans and shudders, fingers curling into Yeonjun’s hair.

_ I want this. I really do. _

The words have run through his mind so many times they’ve started to lose their meaning.

Soobin touches Yeonjun’s hair, and tries to keep himself calm. His body is trembling, but he doesn’t think about what that means. He’s half-naked before Yeonjun, and he thought it would feel - different. Better, like it did when they were kissing and Yeonjun would press his knee between Soobin’s legs, grinding delicious friction into him.

This feels… strange.

_ I want this. I want Yeonjun to do this to me. _

Yeonjun has something else in his hands, but Soobin can’t concentrate on that. He focuses on the kiss, on Yeonjun. Soobin’s making some soft noises in the back of his throat, almost a vocalized breath. It’s hard to breathe with his mouth forced open around the fabric, but he calms his breaths.  _ I want this _ . He touches Yeonjun’s hair, his other hand lying at his side.

The rope coils around his ankle, and Yeonjun leans in and kisses his upturned knee. Then he scrapes his teeth against his knee, eyes flashing to Soobin, smiling with eagerness.

Soobin’s suddenly glad for the fabric in his mouth, because he doesn’t think he could smile back.  _ I want this _ .

He trembles, and blinks a few times - it’s getting a bit hard to see, something is in his eye. Then his hand comes up to the fabric pressed to his face, fingers slipping beneath it. It hurts to bite his jaw into the thick bundle of fabric, hurts against his skin where it’s tugged in too tight.

“Don’t mess with it,” Yeonjun says, and gently takes hold of his hand. There are ropes coiled around Soobin’s leg now, his thigh, and Yeonjun tightens them, and his ankle shifts back to press against his thigh.

I want this.

Soobin’s breathing hard now, almost gasping. He reaches for Yeonjun’s hands, draws them away from his leg, wanting him to focus elsewhere, not on that area.

“It’s okay,” Yeonjun says, and there’s a bit of impatience in his eyes. “You do want this, don’t you?”

Soobin nods, urgently, needing Yeonjun to believe him, needing himself to believe it too. He tries to motion to the fabric in his mouth, but Yeonjun has turned away. He raises Soobin’s right hand and kisses his wrist, and Soobin watches. It’s easier to watch Yeonjun doing this, to want the way he’s being so gentle. Yeonjun’s mouth latches onto his wrist where the skin is thin over blue veins, and sucks. Soobin whimpers, watching as Yeonjun pulls away. A little red mark is growing on his skin.

Then Yeonjun lowers his hand, and Soobin lets him, watching with his head off the pillow.  _ I want this. _

He’s starting to drool around the fabric in his mouth, but he can’t stop it. Swallowing is difficult.

Yeonjun wraps the ropes around his wrist, and Soobin’s trembling intensifies. Then he tugs, and Soobin’s hand is attached to his ankle. Yeonjun takes his elbow and pulls upward, and Soobin feels the resistance, how it’s all tied together.

He whimpers, and tries to reach for the fabric, shoves his tongue against it. He tries to say Yeonjun’s name. His eyes are blurry now, but he can still see well enough to look at Yeonjun’s face as he comes up to hover over him.

“Hey, none of that,” he says, and pulls Soobin’s hand away, wrapping their fingers together. “It’s okay. I’m going to take good care of you. You trust me, right?”

Soobin wants to nod, needs to nod. He tries to speak.

Yeonjun’s mouth pulls into a frown. “You trust me, don’t you?”

I do, Soobin wants to say. He nods, and tightens his hand on Yeonjun’s.  _ I do trust you, but this is a bit too fast. Yeonjun, please… _

“Good,” Yeonjun says, and kisses his cheek.

Soobin feels a hot trickle leak from the corner of his eye, and into his hair.

_ I want this. _

Yeonjun returns to his place between Soobin’s legs. Soobin’s erection has flagged a bit, but Yeonjun knows he’ll be able to get it back soon enough. His own is aching in his pants.

“You’re doing so good,” Yeonjun says, and presses kisses to Soobin’s other knee. Soobin’s hand is twisting the blanket beneath them, but he doesn’t reach for the fabric in his mouth, or for Yeonjun. He lies there as Yeonjun lays the ropes just so. “Did you know I’ve been practicing ropes for when I can use them on you?”

Soobin makes a sound, and Yeonjun interprets it as that soft noise Soobin makes when he wants him to keep talking.

“Yeah, I've been practicing this for weeks. These ropes are high quality, and you can stay in them for hours without permanent damage.”

Soobin’s eyes widen, and his hand comes up, trying to take Yeonjun’s again.

“Shhh,” he says, and kisses Soobin’s palm. “Almost, love, almost there. Just let me--” And he tugs, and Soobin’s other ankle is pulled tight against his leg. “There. You’re doing so good, Soobin. You’re going to look so wonderful, all tied up for me…”

Soobin is still shaking. Yeonjun smiles and leans over him. “Are you crying?” Yeonjun asks, and raises a finger to trace through the tears leaking into Soobin’s hair.

Soobin stiffens, and then closes his eyes. His hand comes up and cups Yeonjun’s cheek. His breathing is fast, and Yeonjun kisses his temples and cheeks, then nuzzles into his neck, saying in between kisses, “It’s okay, Soobin. It’s going to be okay. I’ve got you.”

When Yeonjun pulls back, Soobin’s breathing is a bit steadier. His cock is getting harder. Yeonjun smiles at him, and touches his cheek. “Almost there,” he whispers, and then slips back down, drawing Soobin’s other hand with him.

Soobin lets Yeonjun’s kisses distract him from all this, bending his head backward to offer up his neck. This is more of what he likes, what he wants from Yeonjun. His breathing gets a bit easier, and there’s a fine tension ratcheting up in his lower body, a pleasant warmth. The rest is almost easier to bear when Yeonjun is here with him, like this.

But then it ends. Soobin blinks up at the ceiling, realizing almost too late that Yeonjun has taken his left hand and is now wrapping ropes around his wrist. He groans, and tries to pull his hand away, but Yeonjun tightens the ropes with a slither.

Trapped.

Soobin cries out, deep in his throat, and wants to tell Yeonjun to slow it down, to come back and kiss him.

_ I want this - don’t I? _

He starts tugging, twisting his body, but the ropes are firm and unrelenting.

Yeonjun takes hold of his knees and forces them apart, and Soobin can do nothing to stop him.

“Relax, Soobin,” Yeonjun says, and comes up between his knees, hovering over Soobin. His eyes take in all of Soobin, all of his exposed parts, and Soobin wants to cover himself up. “You’re doing so good. I’m so proud of you, letting me do all this to you.”

He lets Yeonjun’s voice soothe over him. If Yeonjun says it, then it must be true. Yeonjun has always been there for Soobin, has never turned his back on him.

Soobin loves him, needs him desperately. If this is what Yeonjun needs of him, then he will happily comply.

He wishes he could kiss Yeonjun.

Yeonjun calms Soobin, a bit at a time, and all the while his mind is running forward and forward, to what he will do next, to how he will get to have Soobin. And when Soobin is finally breathing somewhat normally, Yeonjun leans into the drawer and pulls out a little bottle. He kisses Soobin again, on the cheeks, and then his hands go down, pressing his knees from where they cling around Yeonjun’s hips.

Soobin makes a soft noise as Yeonjun’s hand goes to caress his inner thigh, above and then below the ropes. He admires his handiwork for a minute. The ropes won’t leave permanent damage, but Soobin will carry marks from their time together. With every motion Soobin carves Yeonjun’s affection into his skin, as the ropes tug and press on delicate, uncalloused skin. As if aware of what Yeonjun is thinking, Soobin shifts, tugging on the ropes, testing them. His hands are tight fists by his legs, rendered useless by the ropes. Another time, Yeonjun thinks, another time I'll get him to struggle against me.

Yeonjun’s hand passes the ropes, circling inward now, finding a particular point beneath Soobin.

The little tensed of muscle pinches tight at his touch, pulling away from him. Soobin shoves back on the bed, a few inches, using his feet, and makes a rather loud noise, all things considered. His breathing is accelerated, his stomach rising and falling with it.

Yeonjun pours a bit from the bottle onto his fingers, and then reaches for that spot again. “It’s okay, Soobin. You’re so beautiful,” he says, and leans in, sucking another hickey into the soft flesh of his thigh. His finger dips against that spot, and Soobin groans and twists.

“If you don’t stop that, I’m going to have to tie you even more,” Yeonjun says, and flicks his fingers in a soft reprimand onto Soobin’s other leg.

Soobin jumps, and whines behind the gag.

Yeonjun hovers over Soobin again, keeping his finger there at Soobin’s hole, keeping the pressure on. He kisses and nuzzles Soobin’s face, and runs his hand through his hair. “You’re okay,” he breathes. “I’ve got you. You trust me, remember?”

Soobin’s eyes, which were squeezed shut, open slightly. He’s crying again, salt on Yeonjun’s lips, and his eyes are trying to communicate something.

“What’s that? You want more? Breathe out, Soobin,” he says, and sighs in an exaggerated way.

Soobin sucks in a breath, and then exhales, nostrils flaring with the effort.

Yeonjun’s finger presses inside, just the first knuckle, and Soobin jerks, tugs against the ropes. It’s so tight and warm in there, and Yeonjun’s body gets even more excited at the thought that he will soon be in there in his finger’s place. “Gods, you’re so warm, so tight,” he hisses, and kisses Soobin’s face again.

Soobin makes a whimper.

“So perfect,” Yeonjun says. “Now, breathe out for me again. That’s it, more.”

Soobin does, and Yeonjun’s finger goes in further, moved along by the lubrication. Soobin’s knees are tight against Yeonjun’s hips.

When Yeonjun swirls his finger Soobin cries out, rising off the bed, gasping. He falls back, eyes fluttering closed.

“That’s it, you’re doing great,” Yeonjun coos, and presses deeper.

Soobin loses track of precious seconds at a time. One moment, Yeonjun’s at that place he’s never had anything touch before, and the next he’s inside Soobin. I want this, Soobin repeats.

And part of him does. His cock, which had been less than interested in the ropes and the intense way Yeonjun was devouring him with his eyes, is now standing at attention. There’s something both wrong and right in Yeonjun’s finger down there. When it moves deeper, or around, Soobin flinches, gasping.

Then Yeonjun’s thumb is pressing at the space right above his hole, digging his nail in unintentionally. Soobin screams, the sound horribly muted. Yeonjun touches his face, and he’s smiling, and the sight makes Soobin groan and squirm.

“That's right,” he says. “Good, you're doing great.” Soobin whimpers, and Yeonjun twists his finger again, his knuckles digging into his flesh.

“Maybe next time I'll keep the gag off, so you can lube my fingers,” Yeonjun says.

Soobin feels for a moment like he's going to be sick. I… want this… But he's not so sure. Shouldn't he want this? Shouldn't he want to do this for Yeonjun? He whimpers, deep in his throat, and then loses another few seconds, because Yeonjun's finger is out of him. Soobin relaxes and unclenches his hands, aware of the half moon circles his nails have dug. One of his nails, a smidgen too long, has drawn blood - he feels it cold and wet, squishing beneath his nail.

When he looks up, Yeonjun is watching him. “Still with me?” he asks, and pinches his thigh. Soobin whines, trying to twist away, and Yeonjun pinches harder.

Soobin's skin reddens beneath his fingers, and those soft noises he makes are so good. He caresses the skin, then leans in and kisses it, giving Soobin a moment to prepare for what's coming next.

He returns to hover over Soobin, touching his face until he opens his eyes and looks at Yeonjun. There's silence for a moment, as Yeonjun studies Soobin, and Soobin looks back. He seems dazed, a little shocked, and Yeonjun caresses his face until Soobin nuzzles into it.

“Breathe out,” he whispers into Soobin's ear, and then presses three fingers in.

Soobin breathes, and then it turns into a groan. He's so tight that it's hard to get in there, but Yeonjun puts effort into it, grabbing Soobin's shoulder for leverage.

Soobin starts moaning, and Yeonjun can almost make words out of it.

“I guess you're not ready for three fingers yet,” Yeonjun says, and removes one. “Breathe, that's it, you're doing great-” And he forces the two in as deep as he can get them.

Soobin's legs try to close, but Yeonjun's hips are in the way, so he presses his knees against Yeonjun. “Good, good, easy,” Yeonjun says, kissing Soobin's cheek again. He wants to see Soobin's hole by the end of this - wants to see it used and abused, open slightly from his cock. “We have to do this if you're going to fit me,” he tells Soobin, kissing him again.

Soobin hears the words through a tunnel, and it takes him a few seconds to understand. It's all happening so fast - Yeonjun wants to… to penetrate him, tonight? Soon? No -

_ I want this _ . And a distant part of his mind says, You deserve this.

He whimpers and squeezes, feeling Yeonjun doing things down there, impossibly dirty things.

And then he touches a spot within Soobin that makes him feel as if his veins have been filled with lava.

He rises up off his back, babbling behind the gag, and Yeonjun whispers, “You like that, do you?” And he's not wrong, Soobin does like that.

He throws his head back as Yeonjun touches it again, and it's like something has gone supernova in his head, quietly and profoundly winking out all his thoughts one by one.

Soobin comes back to a stretching sensation in his hole, and Yeonjun's fingers gently patting his cheek, growing ever more insistent until he opens his eyes. Yeonjun hangs over him, eyes narrowed. The crease between his eyes fades.

“Stay with me,” he says, a bit sternly, and Soobin nods. He's still dazed, but he nods, wanting more, wanting Yeonjun to touch him like that again. “You're doing so good,” Yeonjun says, stroking his hair.

Soobin blinks at him. Is he? Yeonjun wouldn't lie to him, so he must be.

Yeonjun gives him another pat on the cheek, and presses fingers - Soobin can't tell how many, only that there's more than one - deep inside, caressing that spot again. Soobin groans, and moves to kiss Yeonjun, only he can't, because of the fabric. Yeonjun kisses his forehead, which is wholly unsatisfying.

When Yeonjun does that movement with his fingers again, Soobin squirms, eyes squeezed shut.

Soobin is hard now, standing out from his pelvis, and Yeonjun smiles as he works his three fingers in and out, scissoring him open. Soobin is into this, his moans muffled but still communicating his eagerness. Yeonjun shoves in one final time, thumb pressing at that sensitive spot in between. Soobin wheezes and looks up at him, eyebrows curved in as he tries to express the pain.

Yeonjun eats up the sight, devours it, and comes up still hungry.

Yeonjun draws his fingers out, prying Soobin's knees apart to watch as his entrance tries to close, but can't quite make it. Soobin sighs, as if he thinks they are over.

“Are you ready?” Yeonjun teases gently. He wipes his fingers on Soobin's thigh, and then goes to pull his own cock out. Soobin can't see what he's doing, not from there. He seems dazed again, dazed and confused, but when Yeonjun says, “You're so wide and open for me,” Soobin makes that soft noise again, the one that sounds like he wants Yeonjun to continue.

Yeonjun leans over Soobin, ready to take in all the reactions, and with one hand on his hips, thrusts all the way in. Soobin fights him, cries out and squeezes his knees and his hole, but Yeonjun gets in. And it's wonderful, so tight for him. “So good,” he whispers, and leans down to bite Soobins neck, just to hear that strangled cry again.

Soobin pulls on the ropes, tries to get away from this burning sensation, of being sundered in two. It is all going too fast.

Yeonjun's in. He's in, and Soobin can't help the feeling of fullness in there, can't get him out. He cries out, tries to beg Yeonjun to stop, but Yeonjun whispers into his neck and then bites him, and he hurts in a different way.

It is brutal, nothing like the gradual progression of fingers, and Soobin needs him. To stop.

_ I want this _ , he thinks, as tears drip down the sides of his face. I wanted this. I should want this still.

But he doesn't. All that delicious heat that accumulated beneath his skin is gone, caught in the rough burn.

“Relax,” Yeonjun says, “Relax, you're so good for me.” Fresh tears flow from Soobin’s eyes.

Yeonjun shifts his hips - and for a moment Soobin thinks Yeonjun realizes how much Soobin isn't ready for this, that he's backing off - but instead he pounds into that spot he'd apparently only been grazing with his fingertips, before.

Soobin groans, arching his back, and Yeonjun slams hard inside of him, and it's such a mixture of pleasure and discomfort that he doesn't know what to think, other than,  _ I want this. _

Yeonjun gives himself over to the sensation, looking up every so often to see the screwed up expression on Soobin's face. Yeonjun loves the way it flickers when he finds his prostate, momentarily going soft against his will. He loves those soft little sounds, half groan and half, he thinks, begging.

Yeonjun is lazy with Soobin's pleasure, only aiming for that spot every third or fourth thrust, but takes his own fast and easy, burying himself so deep in Soobin's body that he thinks they might never separate again.

He grasps Soobin's neck, but thinks better of it, then turns it into a caress. He has all the time in the world to explore Soobin's every reaction, his twitches, his tells, to work his voice from a whisper to a scream, and everything in between. He will squeeze the breath from his throat, and Soobin will offer it… but not today. Instead he grasps Soobin's knees, forcing them apart, demanding and needing more, more, more.

Yeonjun buries himself in Soobin, and feels his release rising within him. He doesn't hold back, doesn't pause and think of Soobin's, to hold back so they can climax together.

He grabs the back of Soobin's head and hoists his face up to his. Soobin's tear-filled eyes meet his, begging.

“I love you,” Yeonjun says, and buries himself in Soobin, and lets that tide wash over him, pressing his face against Soobin's, hips jerky with it.

Soobin moans as Yeonjun gives one last thrust, his body shaking with it, with the warm sensation of something spilling into him. Yeonjun is orgasming inside of him. Soobin whimpers, and in the back of his mind he thinks, It's over. It's almost over. Please.

Except, it isn't.

Yeonjun’s thrusts grow shallower and shallower, and it burns, can’t he see how much it burns?

Almost a minute after his orgasm, Yeonjun raises his head and smiles at Soobin. He's still buried deep inside.

“Your turn,” Yeonjun says, still smiling.

Yeonjun slides a hand down between them to palm at his erection. Soobin groans, and wants to cry out, to beg him not to. But he can't do anything to stop him.

His hand is warm and soft, enveloping his erection, wrapping his thumb hard along the bottom. This is similar to how Soobin would jerk himself off, but wildly different. The foreign, uncontrollable touch, too much pressure in his ass, combined with the burning ache, makes him whimper and struggle against the bonds.

“You like this, don't you?” Yeonjun asks. Soobin nods, frantic, and he just wants it to be over.

Yeonjun is softening inside of Soobin, the pressure of the burn decreasing. But he doesn't take himself out, just pulls on Soobin's dick, murmuring soft things into Soobin's temple.

Soobin feels his own orgasm approaching, and tenses his thighs, mumbling behind the fabric, body jerking with the desire to take his own cock in hand, to finish it off as he's used to. He's gotten off to the thought of Yeonjun doing just this, of any number of interactions, so many times. He'd never imagined this.

Soobin cries when he comes, his body going rigid. Release gathers in him, tensing all his muscles. Yeonjun keeps his hand on it as Soobin comes onto his stomach, panting out his thanks through the gag. He keeps moving past the point where Soobin sags, boneless, a soft sigh. Now will this finally be over?

Still no.

Yeonjun keeps going too long. It starts all at once, pleasure dropping away and an aching tension quickly replacing it. Soobin screams, stifled, thrashing and trying to get away. Stop, stop, enough!

Yeonjun kisses his chest as he thrashes, and finally – finally – he stops moving his hand. Soobin lays there gasping, exhausted, eyelids already drooping. He's overwrought and overstimulated, and fully done with this interaction.

Yeonjun reaches up and tugs the fabric from Soobin's mouth. Soobin gasps and licks his lips, suddenly shy at what they just did.

“You were amazing.” Yeonjun smiles. “Did you enjoy that?”

Soobin nods, quickly. He did enjoy parts of it. Maybe this is how sex is supposed to be… awkward, kind of painful, with an orgasm at the end to make it all more tolerable. Soobin's being ridiculous, but he also can't stop crying.

“Here,” Yeonjun says, and shoves a sticky hand near Soobin's face. “Clean this off.”

Soobin stares at him. That's… his own come. He swallows past a sudden dryness, but Yeonjun seems unyielding. Even though he could protest, he doesn't. It's his own mess, he should give it a cleaning...

With a sigh, Soobin leans in and licks at Yeonjun's fingers. It's salty and bitter. He's tasted his own before, of course… he was curious about the taste. This is a thousand times worse than that innocent sneak, because there's a lot of it and it's clinging to Yeonjun.

He thinks he gets most of it off, and leans back, satisfied but a little queasy.

Yeonjun shoves three freshly cleaned fingers into his mouth with a directive to suck, and then pulls out of Soobin. He makes a soft relieved noise around the fingers, dutifully sucking. Almost done, almost done...

Yeonjun sits upright, trailing his wet fingers along Soobin's chest and shirt. Then he presses Soobin's legs apart, as far as they will go. “You did so good, taking me in like that,” he coos. “Look at how stretched you are.” He touches a finger to Soobin's hole and there's a sharp stinging. Soobin tugs on his ties and groans. “Hmm, looks like you're bleeding a bit. Did it hurt?”

“Not - much,” Soobin says, haltingly. At Yeonjun's sharp glance, he amends, “It was really good.”

Yeonjun listens to Soobin's words and then rests his chest on top of Soobin's, touching his legs where the rope digs into him. He presses his ear to Soobin's chest and listens to his heart beating.

Soobin is still, his breath evening out. He’d said it was really good. Yeonjun thinks so, too. He touches Soobin’s cheek idly and Soobin kisses his hand.

Finally Yeonjun says, “You look so good like this. I could keep you tied up like this forever.”

“No,” Soobin blurts.

Yeonjun's eyes snap open, and he sits up over Soobin, hands to his knees.

Soobin's eyes are wide. “I - I mean, you could, if you wanted to…”

Yeonjun both likes and hates this defiance in Soobin. He wants to snuff it out, like a candleflame between wet fingers, but he also wants to cup it in his palms, to see if it will burn him.

“No,” he says slowly. “I think this has been long enough, for today. Are you ready to stop?”

Soobin’s eyebrows come together. “Please.” The word is soft, hesitant, as if it lacks all meaning. Then he draws in a breath. “We can do more tomorrow.”

Tomorrow… Yeonjun’s mind is already spinning out, imagining what he can do to Soobin tomorrow, and the day after that. He’s satisfied, for now, but that itch is always there.

“Yes, tomorrow,” he whispers, and leans down to kiss Soobin. Tomorrow, they will try more of the things he’s bought and stored away, imagining them in or on Soobin’s body. Tomorrow he will see all the rope burns, all the marks he’s left on Soobin, and leave more.

“I love you,” Soobin says, eyes going soft.

I know you do, Yeonjun thinks, and smiles. “I love you too.”

Later, when Yeonjun has removed all the ropes, and they lay together in the darkness, knees and ankles and shoulders together, Soobin cries. Yeonjun is spooned up against him, arm wrapped around his bare chest, holding him close. They’re both wearing comfy sweatpants, but Soobin’s bare upper body is cold.

He curls in, keeping his sobs quiet, stifling them in his hand. His body trembles, and Yeonjun’s lazy arm over the top draws him closer, but he doesn’t try to comfort him. Yeonjun doesn’t notice his tears - he snores in Soobin’s ear.

Tomorrow, Soobin will do better. He has to… he can’t lose the one person he’s got left. Even if the thought of going through all that again makes him sick.

He wraps Yeonjun’s arm close, and falls into a fitful sleep.  _ I want this _ .


End file.
